So I'm in "school" here in Georgia and some of my classmates are in the same company as me back at Fort Hood. I usually don't hang out with anyone I work with, but this is kinda like a vacation, so I made an exception. Me and a another guy went out for a few drinks on Friday Night. We went to Hooters and had a few pitchers, then it became way too clear that he was more interested in getting wasted and trying to pick up women than having a few drinks. I'm single with nothing better to do, so I thought what the hell. I've been known to hit the club once or twice.
After hooters we went to a local bar/club that had a decent ratio of women to men... for an establishment near a military base anyway . I hadn't really thought of meeting anyone since I was only going to be in town for about 6 weeks. I really didn't need or want a short term relationship. But you never know, sometimes you meet people in the strangest place. I wondered if there might be anyone there for me to meet. I decided I would look the place over and try to start a conversation with a girl or two. I never got the chance. Instead my night went a little more like this.
My friend started by trying to see how many drinks he could down in an hour. He thought they were about to close the bar or something. He tried to get me to keep drinking along with him, but I wasn't interested. I have limits that I really don't like to cross, especially when I still gotta find my way back home. Then he spends the rest of the night screaming and pointing at every women in the place and dropping the worst pick up lines ever. I forgot to mention that my friend is 36 years old, big, tall, black, bald, filing for a divorce, has a girlfriend. He's not a bad looking guy I guess, but having any big, loud, drunk guy point and scream pick-up lines a you is probably not going to win any girl over.
He kept drinking and eventually needed to get some air, so we left the club around 2 AM. We stopped by McDonald's on the way back to the base and I thought he was going to hurl. Instead he passed out before he got his burgers and fries. I made it back to base no problem. I was stone sober by that point and he was snoring in the passenger's seat. We made it to the barracks, and I spent the next hour and a half trying to get him up the stairs to his room. We only stay on the second floor. He kept trying to open peoples car doors in the parking lot so he could puke in the floorboard.
As I watched him puke and pee about the parking lot trying to talk him into coming upstairs and going to bed, I could't help but think this was way too 'high school'. He was nearing middle age and on a trip away from his home and responsibilities... kids, ex-wife, girlfriend, job. This man has outlived his glory days and is trying to re-live his bet memories. He obviously doesn't know when to stop drinking, shouldn't even be in the club at his age. Then I realized... I'm 31, I probably shouldn't be in the club either. Sure I wasn't lying in a ball on the stairwell floor about now rambling about some girl and calling everyone "Shane." But I couldn't convince myself to believe that I had any better reason for going to clubs than he did. Trying to pass for 5 years younger than I was. Talking to girls, sometimes 10 years younger than me. I'm getting to old for the college parties and pick-up lines. I guess it's time to find another outlet for my Friday night cabin fever.
